Disappearing Jewels: Missing Mothers
by Henry Hintermeister
TEARS welled up in Jenny's eyes. The 12-year-old was holding the note
she had found on the kitchen table. Her heart was still aching from the
ridicule she had received from several girlfriends on the way home from
school. She had been looking forward to telling her mother about it.Hurt, she grabbed an apple from the wire fruit basket and headed for the family room. Jason, her younger brother, was already engrossed in a mid-afternoon movie on cable TV. She flopped herself down on the other end of the couch.
This scenario, in multitudes of variations, is repeated in millions of American and Canadian homes each weekday afternoon as schools emit their educational cargo to trudge home to homes devoid of the reassuring presence of a mother.
Let's face it. Mothers are pretty special. A warm TV is no substitute for a warm embrace from a concerned, compassionate and caring mother. It should be against the law for a child to come home from school to a still, empty house. It is not. Well then, what about the Bible? Surely, somewhere in Leviticus there must be a verse which says it is God's intention for mothers to be in the home when school lets out in order to make peanut butter sandwiches and pour 2% milk while various offspring vie for their moment in Mom's sunshine.
Mothers are given to children as buffers against the cruelties of life. Several nights ago, I watched our six year-old son playing his heart out in a four "man" game of softball on our small lawn. Suddenly his two best buddies announced they didn't want to play with him any more. They took their equipment and abruptly left.
His normally cheerful countenance fell. His face registered confusion and drastic hurt as he watched his good friends disappear up the street. As the sobs began to wrack his little body, his eyes quickly searched for one person - Mom. Running to her, he lost himself in her arms and lap. Slowly she soothed his hurts, calmed his fears and quietly began reestablishing his fragile sense of self-worth and acceptance.
I wondered. What do countless little boys of six do when they turn for help and solace and find, not mother, but a hired sitter or supervisor, someone who not only has them to worry about but a half dozen others as well?
*The U.S. Department of Labor reports that 18.7 million mothers worked outside the home in 1982. That figure has been increasing by more than half a million a year since 1972 as more and more women enter the work force.
Thirty-two million children, infants through high
school, have working mothers. An estimated 7 million children, age 13
and under, care for themselves when they come home from school.
Statistics Canada reports 3.3 million school age children with working mothers in Canada, with 16 percent taking care of themselves.You might not think an article like this is necessary in a Christian publication. Yet of the 51 percent of the American workforce who are women, an increasing number are Christian mothers.
Why is this? Has God changed His plans for mothers in order to meet the challenges of the 20th Century? Here are four suggestions as to why we find many Christians echoing this destructive trend of our secular society.
RELUCTANT LEADERS
First, Christian leaders are often slow to speak out. Due, perhaps, to the harsh, strident voices of secular feminists, preachers and elders are somewhat reluctant to address aggressively the problems that arise when Christian mothers abdicate their daily responsibility to surrogates. This ought not to be!
Yes, there maybe cases where extenuating circumstances necessitate a mother working at a job outside the home. Some mothers have no choice but to support the family. But that caboose won't hold all the women trying to climb on. God's standard for young married women is clearly stated in Titus 2:45. It is "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home" (New American Standard Bible). Whenever God's principles are distorted or ignored, great harm results. While the consequences may not be immediately apparent, they will show up-sooner or later.
As Christian spokesmen, those of us who proclaim the Word of God cannot afford to be silent on this issue. We must raise up a new standard in our midst, one in which women are challenged toward the great task of being full-time mothers.
DISOBEDIENT TEACHERS
Second, the older women are passing a fizzling torch. The Bible passage we have already quoted makes it the responsibility of the older women in the assembly "to encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home" (vv. 3-5). Where the New American Standard Bible says "encourage," the New International Version translates "train" and the King James has "teach." Here is a positive command for a teaching ministry that is often missing today in both assemblies and Christian homes. Paul was not responding to a Gallup poll when he wrote this. He was not encouraging older women to do this only if the younger women were receptive. No, he was speaking words of God to multiple generations which were to follow. He did not place a time limit on these verses; they are still applicable today.
We have many, many older women in our churches who could receive great direction and fulfillment in their lives if this concept were taught and practiced. Nothing is more tragic than to think of their years of wisdom and experience going untapped.
Is it spiritual progress when we ignore this command? Are we being obedient to Scripture? Are our young married women better off when they receive their training from colleges, bosses and Good Housekeeping rather than from godly mothers who have found a life of service and fulfillment in following God's standards?
INADEQUATE CHALLENGE
Third, young women are not being challenged by positives. How often they groan whenever they hear there is going to be a message on the role of women. Why? More often than not, the subject is centered on how a wife can be biblically submissive to her mate.
Personally, I am a little weary of hearing how wives are to be subject, especially when many husbands are spiritual eunuchs. Not that submission is wrong, but, let's be honest, that by itself is not the most glorious motivation for a woman.
God is a God of great positives! His ways are brimming with the potentials for joy and personal satisfaction. It is no different when He lays out the lifestyle for a mother.
In Titus 2, 1 Timothy 5 and Proverbs 31, among other passages, God outlines many positive services for married women, along with creative duties within the context of the family. A woman will-not find complete fulfillment as a woman or mother if she neglects these God-inspired challenges. The commitment of Christian mothers must be this: "As a mother, I will seek to do all that God says in these passages. If I have any time left over, I can freelance on my own plans."
ECONOMIC CONSIDERATIONS
Fourth, in many Christian homes today, economic considerations weigh more heavily than the Word of God. Frankie Schaeffer, in a message to the National Radio Broadcaster's convention, said, "We must have men who will put their family before their career."
What does this mean in practical terms? Does it mean a man must be willing to drive an older car for a few years, rather than suggesting his wife work so they can buy a new Toyota Cressida? Does it sometimes mean a family may have to put off owning their own home for a few years, maybe forever, and enduring the economic losses of renting in order for the wife to stay at home with the children? I think yes!
We must not follow the world's vulgar grasp for possessions. C. S. Lewis commented shortly before his death that he had only one lament over his life; he wished he had spent more time with people. God's value system has always had people at the top of His list. We can gather many things in this life, but moth and rust will ultimately reveal their true value. Our wives and children are too precious to be sacrificed on the altar of "More."
Concluding, let's list five statements which the Word and history have proven to be true for Christian mothers-in every land, in every culture and in every generation.
1. Motherhood is a privilege. God wants to allot it to most women. A few carry special role privileges such as remaining single throughout life, or being barren (Genesis 3 and I Timothy 5).
2. Mothers are to be vitally involved in the character training of their children, preparing future generations through them (Proverbs 6:20-23).
3. Much of the service and good works undergirding the work of the Church in this world will be carried out by active, godly women (I Timothy 5, Titus 2).
4. The greatest reward for a godly woman is not a pay raise and a promotion from her boss, but the praise of an adoring husband and a grateful family (Proverbs 31).
5. When all the fads, feminists and foolishness have passed on, only godly mothers will have an enduring heritage (Proverbs 31).
Statistics Canada reports 3.3 million school age children with working mothers in Canada, with 16 percent taking care of themselves.You might not think an article like this is necessary in a Christian publication. Yet of the 51 percent of the American workforce who are women, an increasing number are Christian mothers.
Why is this? Has God changed His plans for mothers in order to meet the challenges of the 20th Century? Here are four suggestions as to why we find many Christians echoing this destructive trend of our secular society.
RELUCTANT LEADERS
First, Christian leaders are often slow to speak out. Due, perhaps, to the harsh, strident voices of secular feminists, preachers and elders are somewhat reluctant to address aggressively the problems that arise when Christian mothers abdicate their daily responsibility to surrogates. This ought not to be!
Yes, there maybe cases where extenuating circumstances necessitate a mother working at a job outside the home. Some mothers have no choice but to support the family. But that caboose won't hold all the women trying to climb on. God's standard for young married women is clearly stated in Titus 2:45. It is "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home" (New American Standard Bible). Whenever God's principles are distorted or ignored, great harm results. While the consequences may not be immediately apparent, they will show up-sooner or later.
As Christian spokesmen, those of us who proclaim the Word of God cannot afford to be silent on this issue. We must raise up a new standard in our midst, one in which women are challenged toward the great task of being full-time mothers.
DISOBEDIENT TEACHERS
Second, the older women are passing a fizzling torch. The Bible passage we have already quoted makes it the responsibility of the older women in the assembly "to encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home" (vv. 3-5). Where the New American Standard Bible says "encourage," the New International Version translates "train" and the King James has "teach." Here is a positive command for a teaching ministry that is often missing today in both assemblies and Christian homes. Paul was not responding to a Gallup poll when he wrote this. He was not encouraging older women to do this only if the younger women were receptive. No, he was speaking words of God to multiple generations which were to follow. He did not place a time limit on these verses; they are still applicable today.
We have many, many older women in our churches who could receive great direction and fulfillment in their lives if this concept were taught and practiced. Nothing is more tragic than to think of their years of wisdom and experience going untapped.
Is it spiritual progress when we ignore this command? Are we being obedient to Scripture? Are our young married women better off when they receive their training from colleges, bosses and Good Housekeeping rather than from godly mothers who have found a life of service and fulfillment in following God's standards?
INADEQUATE CHALLENGE
Third, young women are not being challenged by positives. How often they groan whenever they hear there is going to be a message on the role of women. Why? More often than not, the subject is centered on how a wife can be biblically submissive to her mate.
Personally, I am a little weary of hearing how wives are to be subject, especially when many husbands are spiritual eunuchs. Not that submission is wrong, but, let's be honest, that by itself is not the most glorious motivation for a woman.
God is a God of great positives! His ways are brimming with the potentials for joy and personal satisfaction. It is no different when He lays out the lifestyle for a mother.
In Titus 2, 1 Timothy 5 and Proverbs 31, among other passages, God outlines many positive services for married women, along with creative duties within the context of the family. A woman will-not find complete fulfillment as a woman or mother if she neglects these God-inspired challenges. The commitment of Christian mothers must be this: "As a mother, I will seek to do all that God says in these passages. If I have any time left over, I can freelance on my own plans."
ECONOMIC CONSIDERATIONS
Fourth, in many Christian homes today, economic considerations weigh more heavily than the Word of God. Frankie Schaeffer, in a message to the National Radio Broadcaster's convention, said, "We must have men who will put their family before their career."
What does this mean in practical terms? Does it mean a man must be willing to drive an older car for a few years, rather than suggesting his wife work so they can buy a new Toyota Cressida? Does it sometimes mean a family may have to put off owning their own home for a few years, maybe forever, and enduring the economic losses of renting in order for the wife to stay at home with the children? I think yes!
We must not follow the world's vulgar grasp for possessions. C. S. Lewis commented shortly before his death that he had only one lament over his life; he wished he had spent more time with people. God's value system has always had people at the top of His list. We can gather many things in this life, but moth and rust will ultimately reveal their true value. Our wives and children are too precious to be sacrificed on the altar of "More."
Concluding, let's list five statements which the Word and history have proven to be true for Christian mothers-in every land, in every culture and in every generation.
1. Motherhood is a privilege. God wants to allot it to most women. A few carry special role privileges such as remaining single throughout life, or being barren (Genesis 3 and I Timothy 5).
2. Mothers are to be vitally involved in the character training of their children, preparing future generations through them (Proverbs 6:20-23).
3. Much of the service and good works undergirding the work of the Church in this world will be carried out by active, godly women (I Timothy 5, Titus 2).
4. The greatest reward for a godly woman is not a pay raise and a promotion from her boss, but the praise of an adoring husband and a grateful family (Proverbs 31).
5. When all the fads, feminists and foolishness have passed on, only godly mothers will have an enduring heritage (Proverbs 31).
from Interest Magazine, Oct. 1994 (20 yrs. later in 2014 such mothers are scarcer than ever before)
